Just before midnight on June 18th, a woman entered the Red Herring and severed her own arm in front of customers and employees. Her exact reasons for this brand of self mutilation are unclear though she was said to be screaming “pain is pleasure!” as her blood sprayed the counter, floor and anyone nearby. The woman, Gretchen Mueller, known leader of Mind9Light, later stumbled out of the shop, presumably to find a doctor or, at the very least, a healthy supply of paper towels. Police were later called to the scene and left without comment.
Oddly, during the chaos, it seems the severed arm went missing. Anyone coming across this arm should not attempt to pick it up and call the PD immediately. The same goes for Ms. Mueller herself, if she has survived the massive blood loss and is wandering the streets as a ranting one armed cult leader, do not approach. Call 911 or grab the nearest friendly member of the DEPD and let them handle it. Even with one arm, she is considered extremely dangerous.

It should be noted after a very busy night by a professional cleaning crew the Red Herring is Open for Business.