Sergeant Vanora Blackheart responded quickly to a 911 call at Dick’s Halfway Inn and found a DEPD brethren, rookie Seth, naked, unconscious and tied up in a room.  When the man regained consciousness, he described his attacker, a woman named Whirl Sorbet, who’s made a few rounds in the wanted department in Dead End.  Details of his attack are still limited but from what sources in the department have been able to confirm is that the man was a victim of sexual assault which was followed by a tazer to his manhood.  What reason the cruel woman would have for jolting his family jewels with a surge of electrical charges is unknown.  Perhaps there is a rough history between the two or maybe, frighteningly, Ms. Sorbet was sexually dissatisfied.  Whichever the case, Rookie Seth was later transported for treatment on his cooked drum stick.

At press time no one in the DEPD was willing to comment on the Rookie’s condition, though it was reported he’d not been back on duty thus far.  Ms. Sorbet  is wanted in questioning for the attack and currently there is a warrant out for her arrest. As always if you see this wanted criminal, do not approach her for fear you too may be injured as the rookie was.  Instead please call the DE Daily and DEPD and stay safe.Vance Clayton, DE Daily Reporter