In what was to be the first of several instances of vandalism and violence last night DE Police Officers responded to a call 911 call at the Roughhouse Biker Bar.  According to the caller there was an explosion and ” someone ” was hurt.   With both the hazmat team and bombsquad dispatched the streets were crawling with officers and paramedics injured manager ” Titi” was in good hands despite a rather frightening array of first and second degree burns.

A monkey much like this one was rigged to explode when it was moved, covering the person holding it in corrosive chemicals.

According to CCTV footage as well as witness statements a rather tipsy ” Titi” made her way to the biker bar and was about to head inside when she found a small child’s toy, a monkey banging on cymbals.  ” Titi” reported that though she didn’t realize it at first the ” music” the toy played sounded vaguely like ” the death march” .  Without any thought further than silencing the toy ” Titi” scooped it up and attempted to toss it in the bin, only to have the ” toy” blow up in her hands.

Though the rubenesque manager was burned over her face, neck torso and arms sources inside the DEMH say that ” Titi ” will make a full recovery thanks  in no small part to both the quick arrival of the DEFD first responders, the DEPD and her own quick with.  Apparently in an attempt to remove the burning chemicals ” Titi ” used bar towels, cool water and handfuls of ice to soothe her skin inadvertently diluting the chemical compound and likely saving herself from much more severe burns.

Roughhouse Biker Bar Closed until the chemical spill can be cleaned up.

Rumors run rampant that the ” Monkey Bomb” was likely the work of Bean Newport in an attempt to repay a member of the Hellcats Motorcycle Club for the bombing on her brother Pagan Newport just a short 2 weeks ago.  Police, and the city at large learned that the Hellcats leader Dee Geist was the one to bomb the DA’s office as a result of threats to the city made by Bean Newport.  Earlier today the DE Daily’s office received a letter inviting DE citizens to take part in a game of ” Get Dee”. With a $10,000 cash reward to whomever managed to collect, batter and beat Ms. Geist before dropping her off in Cinema Square before midnight tomorrow.   Either the attack on ” Titi” was Ms. Newport jumping the gun, or she’s declared War on the Hellcats for their leader’s crime. Either way, Dead End is likely to be a dangerous place to be this weekend and if you see any abandoned toys laying around resist your inner child’s urge to pick them up and play. Call 911 instead and get somewhere ” safe”.

Kahlen Vaniva, DE Daily Editor & Reporter