The Yanks

Most of you likely remember hearing something about the War of 1812 back when you were in school.  For those of you who weren’t history majors, essentially it was a two year war between the United States and the British that, in many ways, was working out their issues that hadn’t been fully resolved after the American Revolution.  Popular history over who actually won the war depends greatly on

DEFD Chief Mela Dylasari-Bellic

which side you were rooting for, which essentially means there was no clear victor.  Even so, it is an important time in American history and as such, Dove Scarlet of the Pizza Slut chose to honor this period in history with an amusing reenactment game.  The teams were divided into civil servants, representing the British or the red coats if you want to stick with the historical theme, against the citizens of DE, or the Yanks.  Each team member was handed a foam sword that was covered in chalk which would easily display their “kill” and thus, eliminate the player.  Last man or woman standing would be declared the victor.

The Redcoats

WTF Owner Phoebe Wolfbane

But this is DE.  Nothing ever seems to go quite as it should.  What was intended as a bit of historical fun rapidly descended into a no holds barred battle royale that sent more than a few participants for overnight care at the DEMH.  Rumor has it some or all of the foam swords were filled with metal inserts turning a harmless bit of squishy nerf into a full on weapon.  Despite the presence of several members of both the DEPD and DEFD, there has been no word of any arrests or investigation into possible culprits.  Then again, it may be due to the high rate of concussions handed out at the event that is fogging their memory.  In the end the Redcoats were declared the victors though due to the high volume of new patients at the DEMH, the real champion will likely be the insurance companies.

Vance Clayton, DE Daily Reporter