National News Takes On Dead End Politics

Senator

The city and County of Dead End made national headlines this week after an ill worded speech from Senator A.S Smith-Hammer, representative of Texas was interrupted by locals throwing lube filled balloons and other assorted items at both police and the senator himself. The speech, which started as an attempt to announce the senator’s presidential aspirations for the 2016 elections was met with jeers and boos from the crowd assembled.

One political pundit wrote the following editorial to the New York Times, and has since been reprinted on a national level and spread virally on Facebook and other sites.

“The people of Dead End don’t seem to get the message. Well, that isn’t exactly fair. Most of the people in the city seem to know what is best for them. They have embraced the prohibition movement with open arms, and are enjoying quieter streets and safer homes because of it. We have fought the demon of the city, and we are winning. Senator A.S Smith-Hammer has given the people the laws that they need to combat the evils that too often make up Dead End.

The Federal Government has stepped up to give these people handouts repeatedly, and how do they repay us? By turning their noses up and asking for more. They are like a city full of snotty teenagers they hold out their hands and demand more. No thoughts to what they asking for, instead they just demand more.

Last year the city was clutched in the throes of a financial disaster. The shipping lanes that they rely on to make their tax base last were frozen, and so were the city’s funds. The police department had become grossly under equipped for even the smallest of jobs. Therefore congress and the president worked together to create a bill to restore the once great city.

The city was given funds for new equipment for the Dead End Police Department, and how do they repay us? They get on stages and yell about how they don’t support the laws that will help them do their jobs. One detective in particular, Barley Alsop who is responsible for destroying several squad cars and even high end SUVs was drunk on stage, spewing venom about the new laws.

“Look at him run my fellow deadendanights. You know what I say to your [expletive] Hammer, I say [expletive] you. I say ah will take your coffee and shove it in places where coffee should never be shoved.”

How can the police department or the people of Dead End be taken seriously when they have people like Detective Alsop spewing their own drunken rants on a stage while the nation looks on? How can we take the city seriously, when their own police captain can’t get out of the way of a Taser? How can we take a city that allows people to walk free after burning down one of the squad cars we, as a nation, paid for with our hard earned tax dollars?

The answer is simply that we can’t. The city needs to be gone through with a fine toothed comb, while these crooked cops and gang banging scum are ran off the streets. The city we paid to keep alive is no longer something we can abandon. It is something that we need to hold close to our hearts and save. Why? Because that is what we do as Americans. We save, even those things that do not deserve to be saved. We will not let a minority of people destroy what the silent majority of Dead End citizens see as a good change be stripped from them because of a vocal minority. “

The national spot light is on our fair city, and it is up to us to see how it is handled. This is what the rest of our country will think of our city, our home.

The question is will we let them?