It begins, like so many of these stories, with a bulldozer. Barley Alsop had a dream. To “give the diner the grade it deserves,” by using the massive construction vehicle to knock Slim Goodies down. But what started as a light-hearted, yet senseless, desire to destroy quickly turned — like so many other stories during last weekend’s “Purge” —  dark and sinister.

Detective Alsop drives the bulldozer, on the way to the diner, unaware of what awaits her.

Unbeknownst to Detective Alsop, or the host of spectators that followed her towards the ill-fated diner, inside a grisly tale of kidnapping, murder and forced cannibalism was taking place. According to Penelope York, a waitress at the diner, a group of individuals lead by Dion Lambert, head of the Cult of Belial, burst into the diner, and held everyone there hostage. They killed several people, including the NPC cook, and “stored their bodies in the freezer.”  York couldn’t believe what was happening, “they kept serving up meat to the cretins who came in like nothing was going on.”

York herself was stripped naked, and held hostage along with another kidnapping victim, Assistant District Attorney Cara Ceriano-Seljan, who was chained to the jukebox. According to York, the group referred to the two of them as “pets.”

Alsop’s Bulldozer tore a hole in the diner, which bears the insignia of the Cult of Belial.

While it seems clear that several customer did in fact eat human flesh served up as regular diner food, it is fortunate that their plan did not go on longer than it did. It seems that fate — in the form of Barley’s bulldozer — intervened. The enormous vehicle plowed into the front of the diner, causing Dion and his band to scatter. Alsop, who stopped her assault when she realized there were people inside immediately went in to investigate. She confirmed that she “found some dead bodies, filleted like fucking fish… no heads either. They might have been deep fried, fucking yummy right?”

Dr. Snowdrift and his side-kick Bat Girl

Along with Alsop, several witnesses flooded into the diner to help the victims, including two costumed individuals calling themselves Dr. Snowflake and Bat Girl, rescued ADA Ceriano-Selian. Both she and York, emerged from Slim Goodies naked and rattled, but safe. Although Ceriano-Selian was visibly disoriented, and can not recall the specific events at the diner, York can and is extremely thankful for the appearance of the “rescue mob.” “I don’t know if I actually thanked anybody,” but added, “thank you for showing up.”

Penelope York escapes while a customer brings her some clothes. It is unclear whether he ate human flesh or not. Probably.

When asked what the DEPD intends to do about the growing threat of this mad cult, Alsop replied, “not a fucking thing.” She went on to blame “hackers” for shutting down the DEPD this weekend,  “who’s ever idea it was to fucking hack the PD well I hope they got what they wanted.”  Although it is still not clear why hacked computers required the police to stop all law enforcement activities, Alsop offered a possible glimpse into the department’s reasoning, “We may be a corrupt department, but do you see what happens when we aren’t around? You get cannibal cultists having cook outs in the diner.” Some people might speculate that the shutdown and the chaos that followed, including these murders, was the result of nothing more than Sheriff Lafayette Duvall, throwing a hissy fit. If that is the case, is Sheriff Duvall ultimately responsible for the damage this “Purge” has resulted in?  Sheriff Duvall has not been available to comment.

Still, it does make one wonder, would this sort of gross dereliction of duty have happened under the leadership of Captain Shade Manx?