Jade Dragon Under New Management
The Jade Dragon Restaurant downtown just had a change of management. Owner Misha Yheng sat down with us for an interview, and discussed her odd lack of knowledge over the electronics installed in her restaurant, her chef’s violent tendencies, and her incomplete menu.
What’s your full name and how did you seize power of the Jade Dragon?
Misha Yheng . . . and seize power? What the hell are you on about, woman? I bought out the lease like any other businessperson.
State your ethnicity.
Chinese and German.
How long have you been in Dead End?
My whole life.
What is your vision for the new Jade Dragon?
To make it the best sushi bar in the city!
How will you protect your staff from kidnap, rape, or assault on the job? Which brand of CCTVs have you installed?
Anyone who brings violence to the Jade Dragon will be met with violence in kind! My sushi chef is a trained samurai! He even has a sword! And how the hell would I know what brand those cameras are? Do I look like I work for an electronics firm?
How do you plan to compete with the Hung Dragon Eatery?
I don’t. We are a choice for anyone who doesn’t like Chinese food or does not want to make the hazardous journey to that side of town.
Why are you mixing Chinese and Japanese food together? What would General Tso think of your idea of cuisine?
What do I care what some general likes? If he comes in, I’ll ask him!
Are white people allowed into your restaurant? How about half-white people?
What are you? Some kind of racist? Anyone who has money to spend is welcome!
Do you at least have any opening discounts or special offers?
We will be offering several discounted meals and other specials once I figure out what they are!
Will you serve cum soup?
Are you fucking kidding me? Get away from me before I stick your head in a sewer drain!
