Chinese New Year Dead End Style
Last Saturday Dead End had its very own Chinese New Years celebration. The Dark Room owner Peni apparently has quite a fondness for the holiday. While this reporter is sure it was done with the best intention, there seemed to be a bit of a snafu. While most were in agreement, the food, booze, fireworks and decorations on one side of the street were top notch. It’
s when you turn around facing the other side of the street that things took a turn for the worst.
While not sure if Peni is a farm girl at heart, we will give her the benefit of the doubt. 2017 is the Year of the Rooster on the Chinese calendar, Peni, bless her heart seemed to be under the impression it was the Year of the Cock. And in true Peni style, she lined the street with pictures of her favorite Deep V Divers. This writer was stunned, to say the least. Stuck in my mind was a warped vision of Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music, dancing down the street singing ” These are a few of my favorite things.”
In Dead End we are used to things a bit out of the norm but all that could be said about this WHOA NELLY. It’s common knowledge Peni is a big fan of Mr. Winky, but this gave us a bit more info about Peni’s personal preferences then most of us needed to know. Most would hate to label her as a size queen but after seeing the pictures of the Ho Wrecker’s lining the streets, it left many wondering one thing, is Peni in the Guinness Book of World Records? Many in Dead End had always assumed when seeing Peni, that she was highly medicated, but after this, you have to wonder if she doesn’t walk around in a dazed euphoric state of afterglow after spending the previous night in a fierce battle with an extremely large purple-helmeted warrior.
Several attempts were made to contact Peni to get her comments about the event, we were unable to touch bases with her. But after seeing all the pictures lining the streets, it’s a safe assumption the Dark Room owner was busy taming yet another over-sized Beaver Cleaver.
Article by Helmut Shmacker