2 Blondes , A Traitor, and a Dead Husband?

A Ren exclusive, yes The Ren
There was a recent article published in this very paper , calling into question my dedication to the Police department and the good people of this fine City! It was written by a liar. A blonde liar, that is married to another blonde liar. Their names Roxy “the widow maker” Niekirk and her wife , Page “Legs Up to here” NieJERK. BACKstory! Roxy ran the shelter with the help of her psychotic abusive husband. This man kidnapped, and abused several women at said shelter,when they only went there for help, food and comfort! His wife Roxy standing by, was she a victim herself? OR.. was she part of the plot all along? Anyway I give the shelter 4 out of 5 stars ,it appears the kidnapping thing might be over.. for now, but the possibility of getting pulled into some kind of kinky sex thing and becoming owned by Page, is still a valid threat. The mystery in all this is… where is the body of Roxy’s husband ? Is that body breathing? Is he alive ? Or dead ? I guess I will have to be the judge , I say he has been murdered! In the shelter, with a pipe wrench, by none other than … I am afraid I am going to have to leave you in suspense,but if you would like to be robbed ,lied to, and raped, please visit the Shelter of Dead End, and don’t miss the fabulous Page PeeKerk dancing at the Dark Room , just don’t get lured in by her blonde good looks. She is a devil.

Much like new local business owner Lily Martiel ! Recently this petite biker took over reigns at Lulu’s Bar and Grill,a definite upgrade from that crappy bar the Hellcats usually hang out at. I would suggest you never go to lulu’s ever again because Lily is a tiny fun sized liar that only thinks with her vagina! Would you want to be served drinks in a place where the owner looks like this?!? This is the most flattering photo I could find, she is dressed at least.

!I am never ever ever ever ever ever ever going to that bar again.Though I do give Lulu’s 3.5 stars the food is edible, and the rats aren’t rabid , though they do crap in the crappy food , the beer is warm , and it smells like urine and puke , you can also buy crack in the bathroom 24/7 ! The lighting and tables are nice and the bar is high enough you can’t see pint sized Lily when she stands behind it.

Until next time remember only I tell you what’s up , everything else is FAKE NEWS!