A Letter From Hong Kong
June 27, 2014. Hong Kong, Kowloon District, 243 Tak Shing Street. Respectable Editor, It is regrettable for having to write this letter to the citizens of the blossoming city of Dead End. It has come to our attention that the once fragile balance in your honorable city is in danger. We urge the citizens of Deadend to raise their voice and silence the infidels who are trying to crush... Read More
Another Reader Writes in
Dear Dead End, I have been hearing a lot about how bad my family is and how Pagan lets me off on charges and stuff.. To those claims I respond.. AHHHHH BULLSHIT! I have been to jail, stuffed in Harvey Federal, Forced into counseling, forced to wear a teddy bear outfit and preach safe sex. I’ve helped give people with community service a place to work and I have done... Read More
Another Nutter Chimes In: Regarding the Yhengs
My dear Dead End. Let us consider the Yhengs. first we have or clearly corrupt and compromised DA, his Sister the feared and clearly mad gangster, and then their Mother, the cop. I say anyone that has the gravitas to strike out against them that has the virtue and conviction to stand against them should not be hunted but heralded as a hero. This family has infiltrated our city on... Read More
A Letter To Dead End From Bean
Dear People Of Dead End, I want to start off by saying thank you for turning over the butthead who burnt my brother. It means a lot to me to know that this fartknocker is known and the city works together to save itself.. Which is why I propose a game.. Its a fun game.. Its called Get Dee! Here’s the rules someone finds Dee and beats the hell out of her and turns her... Read More
Moanin’ to Mona
Dear Moaning Mona, I am a married man who hasn’t seen his wife for over a year and well, I have…you know….urges. My problem is I like this young lady in uniform who is in a relationship as well, but I don’t think her girlfriend would like me to….well, you know. Wink wink, nudge nudge. What should I do? Should I follow my baser urges and just... Read More
A Note from the Editor
It has been brought to the attention of the Daily staff that recently there was an attack upon Ms. Dove Scarlet and it was reported that her unborn children lost their lives in the horrible incident. That is not so. Hospital workers confirm that the tiny and sickly twins are in the NICU at DEMH and while they will likely be there for quite a long while they should eventually... Read More
Killer Dubs Himself Artist, Promises More to Come.
Recently a story entitled ” Terror in the Tunnels, A New Killer Stalks Dead End” was run earlier this week sharing the horrors that had been found and the victims that the atrocities had been heaped upon. The killer, apparently an avid Daily reader, read the story and felt the need to write in. Below his his letter, word for word: Dear citizens of Dead End, It’s... Read More
Another Nutter Chimes In
Some people have no sense of humor. Or sense of proportion. Or sense of sense. Either fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on one’s outlook, these people are quite easy to spot by their blue uniforms and bronze badges. When the penalty for a prank is equal to that of assault, what is there to truly limit how far a joke is taken? When time is served for assault, why should... Read More
Moanin’ to Mona
This week’s question is a little ‘fruity’……… My girlfriend’s ejaculation has yet to taste better despite her constant consumption of pineapples. What should I do? Spray sugar water? Signed, Feeling Fruity Dear ‘Fruity’, This is a new one to me, and I actually had to Google this most serious of problems. After several hours... Read More
Letter to the Editor- Power to the Peaceful
It has become clear that the current direction of the police department is not one of service and protection but of terror and abuse. With comments coming from Captain Kells such as ‘kill them all’, the callousness in the way they respond to near lethal assaults on good natured citizens, and the pogrom they are enforcing on the citizenry that only wish to protect... Read More
