Mardi Gras Mamba
Mardi Gras balls are often affairs where people are dressed in elaborate clothing, wearing masks, playing to be people who they are not generally in day to day life, and overall is a time when things are simply not as they seem. The king might be your dentist. The queen might be a teacher. The court jester maybe just some person who lives down the street from you. I am... Read More
OPINION: Pawns Keeping City Safe Despite Loss of Queen
Dear Dead Enders, Our city has suffered a tragic and terrible loss. Newlywed Mrs. Xelan Yheng-Morgath, our Queen, was murdered by a serial killer known as “Opus.” The wonderful folks at the Dead End Police Department have not learned their lesson. They are content sitting back and citing code violations, ticketing jaywalkers, and arresting motorists for bumping sidewalks... Read More
Lundi Gras in Dead End
This Monday evening, otherwise known as Lundi Gras for those who are from the Big Easy, saw the police chief yet again up to her shenanigans, this time near the Pizza Slut. Perhaps incensed at being portrayed as a scheming old codger who betrays couples at weddings, she this time attired herself as Lady Godiva, at least according to one resident who said “Well you see Pooh,... Read More
Of Weddings and Whips, the Yin and Yheng at the Bus Station this Sunday
On Sunday, Jan. 31, the Yhengs, apparently a wealthy and powerful family of the city, gathered in order to celebrate the union of Xelan Yheng to Sheyui Yheng. I had all intentions of writing a simple article full with platitudes about the lovely bride and the handsome groom, and their happy family and the like; and indeed those were all present. The bride was bedazzled in a lovely... Read More
Editorial: The disgrace of the DEPD
A few weeks ago, a story was submitted to the paper for publication about a mother that lost her child. But as the story was told, the more the truth came out. It would seem, the Dead End Police Department’s leadership seem to think they can do as they please, beat and belittle prisoners and even steal babies to be given to Social Services if they deem the mother unfit.... Read More
Overturned Convictions Force Crackdown
LANSING – Representatives of the state legislature convened for sessions just prior to the Thanksgiving holiday. While they were slated to discuss Game and Wildlife preservation, the conversations at the capitol turned to focus on a new study revealing high rates of overturned convictions in Michigan courts. Representatives were understandably furious over some of the... Read More
Satan’s Salon or Beleaguered Business?
It seems that while criminals are trying to destroy our city through violence, some citizens have taken to trying to tear our legitimate businesses down with false or trumped up charges against the hard working entrepreneurs that are working to rebuild our town. Just recently, an anonymous tip came in to our paper charging an employee of drugging and molesting a patron of the... Read More
Dr Ming’s Medical Matters
Dear readers, I is happy for introducing myself in the most humble manner, my name is Dr. Yheng and this is be first one of regular medical columns for Deadend Daily Newspeeper. Each column is handle different aspect of medical advice you can use at you have home or outside or at school or in bar or in shop or in car or in everywhere. This number one edition is mentioning burn wounds... Read More
The New Sword and Shield of Justice
Long have the enemies of all that is true and right in the world plagued our city. Like the Vikings of old, the brigands of the back alleys have descended upon our streets, raiding, pillaging, raping, and burning all that the good people of this city have struggled to build. Our beleaguered police have been fighting a brutal war since this city was incorporated, one they have... Read More
Union Strike Broken
As if crime and violence weren’t enough for this city to contend with, it appears that the civil agitators intent on destabilizing our community to create a lawless and chaotic breeding ground for their parasitic greed. If you are wondering why the news has been hard to get as of late, you can blame the union at the DE Daily’s printing press for trying to strangle local... Read More
