Girl Hit! Pizza Slut owner blames ‘Special Needs’ employee.

On Dec. 31, a woman, only at this time known by Justine, crossed the street.  Maybe to grab a slice of pizza, a coke.  No matter why she crossed the street, she didn’t make it to her destination.  Viciously ran over by the pizza slut van. A horrible accident, or a remorseless act?  While the girl, Justine, fights for her life in the hospital.  The Pizza Slut owner has put fault on her employee Juan. The Pizza Slut owner showing concern as Justine lies lifeless. What... Read More

Cannibalism Cult Dines and Dashes from Slim Goodies

It begins, like so many of these stories, with a bulldozer. Barley Alsop had a dream. To “give the diner the grade it deserves,” by using the massive construction vehicle to knock Slim Goodies down. But what started as a light-hearted, yet senseless, desire to destroy quickly turned — like so many other stories during last weekend’s “Purge” —  dark and sinister. Detective Alsop drives the bulldozer, on the way to the diner, unaware of what awaits... Read More

Assistant DA Left in a Sticky Situation

On Friday afternoon, Judge Cara Ceriano-Seljan found herself in hot water once again when unknown persons reportedly assaulted her and utilized duct tape to fix the woman firmly to the door of the Dead End Law Offices. According to the photograph, to add insult to injury a wild mouse was also taped over the city Judges mouth. The source, who declined to give her name, states that she had been passing by just after the incident and took notice of two people speeding away on a motorcycle.... Read More

Dead Drop Arson Causes Calamity

  Dead End citizens experienced a major fire on Friday in Dead Drop that included the injuries of several residents and public officials that included also a sexual assault. On February 14th, at approximately midnight, DEFD was called to an incident outside of the abandoned gas station located in Dead Drop. Upon arrival, fire department officials discovered victim Lily William (NPC), 26, tied to a cross. DEPD reports that the victim suffered from numerous severe injuries,... Read More

Alsop Hits Four With Cruiser, Is Demoted To Crossing Guard

If you drive the streets of Dead End, or even walk the sidewalks, stop in a bar for a beer you have likely heard of former Detective Barley Alsop who’s patrol car was ” stolen by raccoons and driven into the pool hall”.  Then there was the time the Detective’s car was stolen after having been parked across the street from the station. And now the former detective is at it again. According to several eyewitnesses several Easy 8’s Pool Hall employees... Read More

Santa Brett Jenkins Arrested

The detectives had to tazer Santa Brett who’s bag of goodies was anything but Monday afternoon, two detectives were busy checking on the Christmas spirit in the Red Light District when they noticed Santa exiting a room at Dick’s Hallway Inn.  While Mr. Claus has just as much a right to rent a room there as you or I do, seeing him lurking about with a duffel bag rather than a sack of toys made Detectives Barely Alsop and Tarra Thorton more than a little curious and... Read More

Hellcat Member Takes Own Life

Horrified friends watched as Sarah Jericho bled out right before their eyes What truly drives someone to end their own life is something that can only be answered by that person and that person alone.  Sure we can make assumptions it was for this reason or that but those of us among the living find a way to continue and push through our problems, be they financial, emotional or medical or what have you.  Sadly, not all have the strength to carry on.  Late Saturday night, Detective... Read More

Dark Room Dancer Tazed After Attempting To Escape Arrest

  Coqette Demotte post tazer with Det’s Thorton and Alsop ready to put the cuffs on In a recent article, we told you Dark Room Dancer Coqette Demotte had been arrested at the DEMH for her participation in the she-devil hayride that had rapidly spiraled out of control.  New reports now indicate that was not the case as Ms. Demotte was stopped on the ramp near the water plant while on a vespa by Detective Tara Thorton.  When the detective spotted the wanted girl and... Read More

Ace Despres Attacks Same Officer, Gets Same Result

Ace Despres being moved to a cruiser on the upper right while Officer Jameston is tended to by EMTs Everyone has that one person who just gets under your skin.  They’re that one person where, for whatever your reason, when you see them, you really just see red.  Noted criminal and potential Mr. Universe candidate, if he can ever get his record expunged, Ace Despres spotted Officer Jack Jameston out front of the Icky Quickie and, as described above, he saw red.  Despite... Read More

Rookie Officer Brutally Beaten And Raped

The rail yard where Rookie Officer Eaton was held overnight by her captors Naked.  Shivering.  Beaten and raped.  This is how rookie officer Amelia Eaton was found Saturday evening when she collapsed on the street just outside of the rail yard.  Officers Barley Alsop and Jack Jameston quickly were on scene and alerted EMTs to tend to their fallen colleague with more than a few questions of how she ended up in this state.  According to sources in the DEPD, the statement given... Read More