Interview with Dead End Daily’s New Editor-in-Chief, Aria Sharple

Amidst the ruin and destruction of Dead End City, I sat down with new Dead End Daily editor-in-chief Aria Sharple to discuss her lack of formal education, hatred of corruption, and odd taste in entertainment. State your name and age. Aria Sharple, 20. Why did you become chief editor even though you are only 20 and don’t have a degree? Whose cock did you suck to get this position? While I like to think my skills in fellatio are legendary, I hope that I got the position... Read More

Now Hiring Reporters and Interns

Do reality shows intrigue you? Have you always wondered about why people hold orgies? Especially church orgies? Are you fascinated by parking disputes? Keen to dig deep into corruption, cartels, and food hygiene violations? Are you a newshound with a keen sense of curiosity? Then submit your application to be a reporter or intern at the Dead End Daily to the pink mailbox at our downtown office. No experience needed. We are also looking to hire one (1) bodyguard. Ability... Read More

Strawberry Shortcake Sexually Stimulates Citizens

Drug-laced cupcakes have been causing prominent locals to behave erratically and nakedly in public. Around 9:00 p.m. on Feb. 8, 2016, a man in a plastic stormtrooper outfit was seen bumping into walls and smashing a hole in the Pharaoh’s Bookstore window downtown, pointing at everyone in his vicinity. Sneezing under his helmet as he had a cold, he had clearly not thought of the lack of protective qualities of his cheap plastic outfit. He was soon joined by Dead End... Read More

B&D Productions Holds MMA Fight For Charity

Collaborating with the Dark Room and the Hedonist Casino, B&D Productions hosted a charity amateur mixed martial arts (MMA) boxing event at the Dark Room on Saturday, December 19 at 4:00 p.m. 40% of the event’s earnings went to The Flame of Truth homeless shelter. The Dark Room’s staff served up drinks and food, and their dancers served as ring girls. Bets were placed on the Hedonist Casino’s betting table. The turnout was excellent, with more than 30 citizens... Read More

Pabulous Public Providers Party

by K. Villota Mr. Niimura Kyo at Lulu’s At 6:00 p.m. on December 5th, 2015, Lulu’s Bar and Grill held a Pabulous Public Providers Party offering half-price drinks for all of Dead End’s public servants. Citizens were invited to come and enjoy food, company, and music on the cold evening, with all proceeds graciously donated to the city’s winter works fund. Niimura Kyo, 29, a businessman, owner of Lulu’s Bar and Grill, and tattoo artist, described... Read More

Dead End Businesses Dress Up For Christmas

by K. Villota In keeping with the season, businesses in Dead End have gone all out with Christmas decorations to bring the holiday spirit into 2015. Let’s take a look at some downtown businesses’ end-of-year displays this year! Lulu’s Bar and Grill keeps it simple with a tree in one window and a menorah in another. Fancy kissing a dancer under the mistletoe? Lulu’s will make your dreams come true. Pharaoh’s Bookstore chooses to get etymological. The... Read More

Cult Delivers Chapel Sermon to Dead End Residents

by K. Villota On Saturday, November 14, 2015, the sermon of Belial began one hour late at 7:30 p.m. at the Dead Fall chapel. About twenty citizens of Dead End were in attendance, but many remained seated at the back, or milled around the entrance instead of coming in. Armed police were stationed outside the chapel, wearing gas masks. Sermon attendee Malakai Graestone, 22, is a Dead End Hellcat motorcycle club member. He said, “The cult, Belial or whatever it is, is holding... Read More

Detective versus Vigilante

by K. Villota Dead End’s citizens know a lot about crime. Some of them are even happy to talk about their experiences on both sides of the law. On a freezing Friday, I sat down at the Pizza Slut, a local fast food outlet, with a lady who goes by the name of Vigilante. Vigilante is a 21-year-old felon. “My job isn’t important but my other activities are what may be important,” she told me mysteriously. Vigilante was generous with her opinions about the... Read More

DE Daily: Re-Loaded in the Park Party

Come down to the glorious oasis of the Latter Day Park & Recreation space in Dead Drop to celebrate the grand relaunch of Dead End’s voice of the people, The Dead End Daily. Lose your inhibitions by the swimming pond, roast your s’morals by the campfire and enjoy a free cook-out in the open air at the place to be this summer. A nudist friendly, secret hide-away and campsite  just outside the city. GET DRUNK GET LOADED GET BAKED GET NAKED GET INVOLVED. ((Contact shivering.moonshadow... Read More

Intrepid Investigators and Photographers Wanted

Calling all Social Butterflies, Nosey Nelly’s and Peeping Pavel’s. Looking for a job you can truly sink your teeth into? Fancy flushing out the corruption forced on us by a system which gives nothing back to the common woman and man? How about a job where you get paid for going out to socialise in one of Dead End’s many establishments? Then the DE Daily might be for you. Competitive rates offered with a fantastic employee benefits package. Come visit us to find... Read More