Exploding Cake Attack on The Rough House
Mid afternoon on Tuesday and a small group of good friends are enjoying a free and celebratory drink at the Rough House. The celebration was one of relief that an incipient altercation only minutes earlier had been averted when a fight broke up in its early stages. The relief at the receding of this problem was only short-lived, as a lady in a striking red and black latex catsuit, accompanied with vivid white makeup climbed down from her van carrying a cake. The cake was... Read More
Mad Monk Strikes the Slut
Another day in Dead End. Another apparently mindless attack. Or perhaps not so mindless. An Emergency call was received at 1116 on Saturday, reporting an attack at the Pizza Slut. An assailant dressed as a monk had used a knife to make his attack on a man before becoming wounded himself. The ‘monk’ was trying to make his escape as he collapsed and lost consciousness on the other side of the street only yards away from the Slut. Paramedics were quickly on-scene... Read More
A Hard Look At The DEPD
DEPD “Sometimes they’re there in a flash. Other times, they never show up at all.” “There are some fine police officers out here that work too hard. Then there are others that don’t to shit.” “They seem to only care about a couple higher profile cases. The rest, they leave non investigated” These are quotes from concerned Dead End citizens regarding their opinion on the DEPD and it’s effectiveness or lack thereof.... Read More
Corruption In The Police Department, Vigilante Justice
DEPD Yesterday the DE Daily received an anonymous e-mail with a video denouncing the DEPD as an organization full of corrupt officers, power hungry fiends and thugs. After some research and creative investigation it has come to light that a Rookie Officer, Venus Quinnell, met with ”Uncle Bob” in the Dark Room on Feb 27th. After a brief conversation, Officer Quinnell agreed to become his informant, sharing police information with a known criminal! This agreement was made in... Read More
Arrests Made After Last Month’s Casino Heist
Frequently the Dead End Police are called out for their lack of attention, lack of efforts and what is seen as inept bumbling that would certainly not be the case when it comes to the officers following up on the February 19th casino robbery. After hours and hours of skilled investigating, lead following and tips the DE Police force raided the Dark Room on Friday night and arrested three. The Raid, containing Detective Smythe, Cas, Officers Kells, Oakleaf and Blackheart was... Read More
Insane Alice Attacks Police Station Carrying Human Heart
Alice ” the Rabbit” Lambert The oft arrested or institutionalized Alice Lambert, wife to reported murdered and bar owner Dion Lambert, was arrested last evening. The charge? Vandalism. It seems that Dead End’s most frequent loonie decided the Police Department was in need of a makeover. To that end Mrs. Lambert filled small balloons with animal blood and inedible parts, tucked them and a particularly nasty surprise into a box and headed down to the police... Read More
Police Officer Found Dead In Train Yard
Summer CrowWing, DEPD Officer and cousin of Judge and former police Capt. JR CrowWing was found murdered in the Dead End Train Yard. According to witnesses and reports her body was horribly mutilated, eviscerated and left with her police badge pinned through the flesh of what remained of her chest. Laying in the center of a satanic looking circle the police are speculating that it was the work of some twisted cult or satanic sect. According to sources several pubic hairs... Read More
Death of a Killer: The Irish Killer Hanged by Nexus
The city of Dead End has one less murderer, one less piece of scum, one less threat to worry about. Around 2:30pm on the 2nd, the square in front of Lulu’s was forced to watch as a group, only know as Nexus, hang a wanted criminal. Nexus publicly hanged the Irish Killer, offering it as a ‘gift’ to the people of Dead End. An anonymous 911 call came in, saying that there was going to be a death in the square, the voice warned and invited people to come down and... Read More
Repo Man: America’s Most Wanted
The DEPD have released the following description of the Repo Man killer: Believed to be tall, over six feet and often wears sunglasses. He is believed to go by the name “Don” but that is uncertain. He has red hair. If you see this man you should assume that he is armed and dangerous and do NOT approach him. If you see this man, please contact the DEPD immediately. Read More
DEPD Looking For Suspected Terrorist, New Drug Involved
Police are currently searching for a woman by the name of ‘Athena’. She is believed to be conspiring to introduce a new substance to our already drug laden streets. The drug has been nicknamed ‘redeye’ and police are urging extreme caution in regards to it. According to the police department, this drug causes the following symptoms: Near immunity to pain, an extremely intense body high, a floating feeling in the stomach, and increased adrenaline capacity,... Read More
