DEPD Most Wanted List: Magnum Vectoscope

Magnum Vectoscope Considered Armed and EXTREMELY Dangerous! Citizens are warned not to approach. Should anyone have any information on the whereabouts of this citizen please contact the DEPD directly. There is a $500 reward for information leading to the arrest of this suspect. Again, citizens are advised not to approach the suspect directly.  Read More

Court House Explosion

The Court House ablaze. On Sunday, Jan. 10 at around 3:30 p.m. a huge explosion shook up Dead End city. The noise could even be heard in Dead Drop, such was the loudness of the explosion. Moments later the dispatch service received dozens of phone calls from concerned citizens. Apparently the entire court house had exploded and was engulfed in flames. Our brave Firefighters at work. It took the fire department many hours to put out the blazing fire. Not much is left of the... Read More

Police and Fire Departments Hold A Snowman-Building Contest

by K. Villota On December 12, 2015 at 6:00 p.m., the Dead End Police Department and the Dead End Fire Department held a snowman-building contest and a snowball fight at the basketball courts. While no one actually entered the snowman-building contest, a number of snowmen of varying degrees of quality were seen on display. The Red Herring provided hot chocolate and cookies and the Slim Goodies Diner served food to all in attendance, while the Rough House provided alcoholic drinks... Read More

Pabulous Public Providers Party

by K. Villota Mr. Niimura Kyo at Lulu’s At 6:00 p.m. on December 5th, 2015, Lulu’s Bar and Grill held a Pabulous Public Providers Party offering half-price drinks for all of Dead End’s public servants. Citizens were invited to come and enjoy food, company, and music on the cold evening, with all proceeds graciously donated to the city’s winter works fund. Niimura Kyo, 29, a businessman, owner of Lulu’s Bar and Grill, and tattoo artist, described... Read More

Detective versus Vigilante

by K. Villota Dead End’s citizens know a lot about crime. Some of them are even happy to talk about their experiences on both sides of the law. On a freezing Friday, I sat down at the Pizza Slut, a local fast food outlet, with a lady who goes by the name of Vigilante. Vigilante is a 21-year-old felon. “My job isn’t important but my other activities are what may be important,” she told me mysteriously. Vigilante was generous with her opinions about the... Read More

Pawnshop theft and murder?

We all know the pawnshop is iffy at best. Is there anything for sale there that isn’t stolen? And how come this Xelala who runs the place can hand out money like it was water, giving out loans and buying stuff from any origin, when in fact she’s only twenty years old? She might present herself as a community worker, but isn’t she a bit young to play the rich philanthropic? Those might very well be questions people could ask. Some guys from Russian origin certainly... Read More

The Lost City of Red Light

It sounds almost like a fairytale. It started with a tornado and the world changed for a few days. We were not in Dead End City anymore. The old city fell apart and became two cities as the Red Light District declared itself independent from the mainland. With the city still recovering from the storm, whole city blocks without power, the streets filled with debris, glass and damaged buildings all around and one of the bridges hit by a boat and blocked by a heavy container, the... Read More

Truck Hijacking – Suspects Still At Large!

In the early hours of Sunday, February 8th officers responded to what was initially reported as a body found lying in the middle of the street near the courthouse in Dead Fall. Upon arrival, officers investigated the scene to find that the victim was still alive, but badly beaten. It quickly became apparent that this was not just a typical Dead End beating, but a brutal hijacking of a truck by two unknown suspects. William Wanker, the driver, was on his way to drop off multiple... Read More

Stabbed: A Simple Assault, or a Changing of the Times?

On the night of May 22, 2014, the police department responded to a 911 call about a man who was stabbed in front of a popular bar in the city. The victim, Jessie Neilsson, became embroiled in an altercation outside of Lulu’s. The scene of the crime was a very popular bar inside the city limits. Witnesses were present in large numbers at the scene, but only a small handful came forward to offer their first-hand accounts. Rain, a woman who arrived at the scene just after... Read More

DEPD Rookie Assaulted

Terrifying are the streets of Dead End, more so if you’re with the Police Department. Rookie Cop Tristan Malikov was found by this reporter half dressed with blood all over him, mostly around his crotch. It is believed he was attacked by an unknown assailant who drove a knife through his pants cutting into his privates, after beating him heavily and leaving him to die on the streets of Dead End. So far it is known that the so-called Victim has not filed a police report and... Read More