Cult Priest Dead After Kidnapping and Torturing Local Business Owner

On March 13th, Mrs. Vie MacClawden was abducted by then persons unknown and held against her will. On March 17th she was rescued after four days of torture, rape, and being drugged against her will. According to her statement, her abduction had a purpose. In addition to the physical abuse the woman endured during those days, mind altering substances were administered in an attempt to brainwash her and accept the ways of the new church, which relies heavily on a belief in abstinence... Read More

Senator Smith-Hammer Tied to Kidnapping

Senator A.S.Smith-Hammer of Texas Texas Senator and presidential hopeful A.S. Smith-Hammer, has a dream; A dream to clean up the city of Dead End.  A dream to rid the city of, in his own words, “vile substances,”.  To end the flow of alcohol and drugs, as well as stopping “unnecessary fornication that turns men into rapists and women into whores.” Sounds like paradise, doesn’t it? And all it will cost the citizens of Dead End, is their freedom. That’s what Vie... Read More

National News Takes On Dead End Politics

The city and County of Dead End made national headlines this week after an ill worded speech from Senator A.S Smith-Hammer, representative of Texas was interrupted by locals throwing lube filled balloons and other assorted items at both police and the senator himself. The speech, which started as an attempt to announce the senator’s presidential aspirations for the 2016 elections was met with jeers and boos from the crowd assembled. One political pundit wrote the following... Read More

Prohibition Leads to Troubles for the Local Police

  Shade Manx after Cleaning House at Easy Eights   On Saturday the 7th, the Dead End Police Department began their enforcement of the alcohol prohibition of our fair city. While the the enforcement officers encountered little resistance as they went from business to business confiscating bottles of booze and demolishing barrels, one small privately owned business fought back in a big way. Despite the conversion of the Rough House to a smoothie bar, the owner not only... Read More

Modern Day Prohibition Comes to Dead End – Alcohol Outlawed

Dead End County County Commissioners office, under extreme pressure from the State of Michigan and Dead End City Council held meetings yesterday to find ways to bring crime in the city down from record high levels. The city and county have implemented options over time for the Dead End Police Department, and drawn from state grants to keep the department running as efficiently as possible. State and federal leaders have decreed that there will be no more grants given until the... Read More