Editorial: The disgrace of the DEPD

A few weeks ago, a story was submitted to the paper for publication about a mother that lost her child. But as the story was told, the more the truth came out. It would seem, the  Dead End Police Department’s leadership seem to think they can do as they please, beat and belittle prisoners and even steal babies to be given to Social Services if they deem the mother unfit. So where does this leave us? Well the hard working leader of the Flame of Truth ministries, which does... Read More

Opinion: A Captain Disgraced, A Department in Ruin

Dead Enders! For far too long, rapists, murderers, and predators have been allowed to run free. The Dead End Police Department (DEPD) chooses to go family, the only people who have shown any kindness, respect, or care for how this city is run. The Pawns’ Queen has been in jail, and the DEPD and District Attorney’s office have been all too content to sit on their collective asses while more citizens, the people I care about, go free. So I decided to show a member... Read More

Detective Reinhardt Charged With Extortion and Drug Trafficking, Resigns

by K. Villota Detective Justine Reinhardt, an officer for about two years with the Dead End Police Department, was forced to resign after an internal investigation uncovered that she had been trafficking in drugs and extorting businesses for money. A police officer, who wished to remain anonymous and only identified himself as “X” told the Dead End Daily, that Reinhardt, the iconic redhead on the force, was found to be responsible for aiding and distributing narcotics... Read More

B&D Productions Holds MMA Fight For Charity

Collaborating with the Dark Room and the Hedonist Casino, B&D Productions hosted a charity amateur mixed martial arts (MMA) boxing event at the Dark Room on Saturday, December 19 at 4:00 p.m. 40% of the event’s earnings went to The Flame of Truth homeless shelter. The Dark Room’s staff served up drinks and food, and their dancers served as ring girls. Bets were placed on the Hedonist Casino’s betting table. The turnout was excellent, with more than 30 citizens... Read More

Police and Fire Departments Hold A Snowman-Building Contest

by K. Villota On December 12, 2015 at 6:00 p.m., the Dead End Police Department and the Dead End Fire Department held a snowman-building contest and a snowball fight at the basketball courts. While no one actually entered the snowman-building contest, a number of snowmen of varying degrees of quality were seen on display. The Red Herring provided hot chocolate and cookies and the Slim Goodies Diner served food to all in attendance, while the Rough House provided alcoholic drinks... Read More

The New Sword and Shield of Justice

Long have the enemies of all that is true and right in the world plagued our city.  Like the Vikings of old, the brigands of the back alleys have descended upon our streets, raiding, pillaging, raping, and burning all that the good people of this city have struggled to build.  Our beleaguered police have been fighting a brutal war since this city was incorporated, one they have fought valiantly, even if the odds were ever stacked against them.  However, all that has changed,... Read More

Hank the Dispatcher Found Dead at the Hands of The Butcher Bunny

Dispatcher Hank as he was found on the scene Hank the Dispatcher, known through out Dead End as the perviest dispatcher of them all, sexually harassing any female who would call in, and seemed to have a special fondness for local business owner Andi Bayne. The city dispatcher also once ran for mayor, his slogan being “Give Ranch a Chance”. His love for the creamy salad condiment proved to contribute to his undoing Thursday evening. Officer Tarra Thorton responded to a 911... Read More

Slim Goodies’ Diner Vacant – Madison Montana is Out on Her Butt

Friday evening, Slim Goodies’ Diner in dead drop was dealt an unfortunate blow when the current management was evicted due to lack of lease payment. At approximately 7 o’clock, Officer Tarra Thorton entered the Dead End staple to serve owner Madison Montana with the eviction notice and ordering her to gather her personal belongings and vacate the premises immediately. Ms. Montana, who has run the diner for 18 months currently owes the buildings’ owner approximately $5,000.... Read More

Dead End Judge attacked. Suspect Sought by Police

The Dead End Law Offices At approximately 10:00 on Wednesday night, Detectives Shade Manx and Tarra Thorton responded to the assault of the honorable Judge Cara Ceriano-Seljan at the Dead End Law Offices. Judge Ceriano-Seljan was reportedly found beaten and in her underthings. According to a press release the attacker, wwhohas not been positively identified reportedly hit Ms. Ceriano-Seljan in the face, leaving minor injuries. They also allegedly the honorable Judge Cara Ceriano-Seljan stole... Read More

Firecrackers Tossed Into The DEPD Lead To The Arrest Of Wanted Bunny Girl, Thumper

Sgt. Thorton kneeling over the firecracker tossing bunny who’s once again landed in custody Self appointed avenging angel Thumper took her beliefs that the DEPD was in league with the devil and tossed a few firecrackers into the station lobby Monday evening.  While no one was hurt by the small but loud explosions, it certainly drew the attention and ire of the officers within the building who came charging out after the mentally divergent girl who also believes she’s... Read More