The Magpie Treasure Hunt
The Magpie I’ve been called a thief and a criminal. But only by losers. What some people call theft, we call redistribution of wealth. We’re sick and tired of a society that’s only interested in protecting the haves from the have nots. To this end we are making a statement and we’ll redistribute what we have confiscated from those that didn’t want to share and share it with you, the people. For the next fourteen days I, also known as the Magpie, will... Read More
Pawnshop theft and murder?
We all know the pawnshop is iffy at best. Is there anything for sale there that isn’t stolen? And how come this Xelala who runs the place can hand out money like it was water, giving out loans and buying stuff from any origin, when in fact she’s only twenty years old? She might present herself as a community worker, but isn’t she a bit young to play the rich philanthropic? Those might very well be questions people could ask. Some guys from Russian origin certainly... Read More
Dead End Daily Robbed
On Thursday 21st May this reporter was at work in the offices of the Daily news, when three crazy, costumed assailants entered the premises.The criminals – clearly drug addicts – rambled incoherently and dressed insanely. Despite speaking as if they had inhaled helium before the attack it was apparent that they were an organized cell who worked efficiently and in an organized fashion. Although I feared for my personal safety it became clear that their primary concern... Read More
Hijackings Continue in Dead End – No Longer a Safe Trail for Commercial Transportation
The Residents of Dead End, particularly those with businesses in the city proper and along Whipped Way where a semi was unfortunate enough to lose control and crash through the bridge railings to be left dangling, threatening to fall for some time before the driver could be rescued. At first glance it would appear to many that Mr. BJ Snooker, the truck driver who was driving the semi-truck lost control and rammed through the guardrails, leaving his truck dangling on the brink... Read More
Dead End Judge attacked. Suspect Sought by Police
The Dead End Law Offices At approximately 10:00 on Wednesday night, Detectives Shade Manx and Tarra Thorton responded to the assault of the honorable Judge Cara Ceriano-Seljan at the Dead End Law Offices. Judge Ceriano-Seljan was reportedly found beaten and in her underthings. According to a press release the attacker, wwhohas not been positively identified reportedly hit Ms. Ceriano-Seljan in the face, leaving minor injuries. They also allegedly the honorable Judge Cara Ceriano-Seljan stole... Read More
Interview With The Bad Santa
” Bad Santa” and a previous victim. After the recent spate of increasingly bizarre crimes in Dead End by the man known as the ‘Bad Santa’ (but not the Billy Bob Thornton one), this Dead End Daily Reporter was unfortunate enough to meet the robber in red in person while sheltering from the snow at the car park near the DE Daily Offices. I would have asked for a real name but knew this person was probably not going to out-himself to the number one newspaper... Read More
