Streets of Dead End

Traffic is killing. The numbers don’t lie. Every year there are more accidents and fatalities in the streets of Dead End. It’s only logical the DEPD is trying to do everything in it’s power to take measures and get street maniacs under control. However, sometimes the means are worse than the ends, according to some people. Last sunday a police patrol came across one of the most notorious Hellcats known as Titi. She was riding her bike in such a way, it was clear... Read More

Crucifixion: Not Just for Jesus Anymore

Jones and “Vinny” with their victims. Two men, calling themselves “Reverend Jones” and “Brother Vinnie,” publicly crucified a man and a woman: Sergei Stankic, head of the Flame of Truth Homeless Shelter, and former Dead End Fire Department Chief, Melangell Reed-Bellic, resulting in the death of Stankic and the near-certain embarrassment of Reed-Belic. Calling them the “true faces of sin,” Reverend Jones proceeded to strip them both, while they were lashed... Read More

Cult Priest Dead After Kidnapping and Torturing Local Business Owner

On March 13th, Mrs. Vie MacClawden was abducted by then persons unknown and held against her will. On March 17th she was rescued after four days of torture, rape, and being drugged against her will. According to her statement, her abduction had a purpose. In addition to the physical abuse the woman endured during those days, mind altering substances were administered in an attempt to brainwash her and accept the ways of the new church, which relies heavily on a belief in abstinence... Read More

Prohibition Leads to Troubles for the Local Police

  Shade Manx after Cleaning House at Easy Eights   On Saturday the 7th, the Dead End Police Department began their enforcement of the alcohol prohibition of our fair city. While the the enforcement officers encountered little resistance as they went from business to business confiscating bottles of booze and demolishing barrels, one small privately owned business fought back in a big way. Despite the conversion of the Rough House to a smoothie bar, the owner not only... Read More

Pizza Slut Fight

A confrontation occurred in Dead End leading to the injuries of three residents and one Dead End police officer. On February 1st, at approximately 11:30 pm, there was an observed fight between several residents in front of the Pizza Slut on Key Road. According to witness statements, the individuals involved in the incident were Titi, Song, Brett Jenkins, Jezz and Amanda Fitzgerald. Witnesses also reported that out of the five involved in the assaults, the injuries occurred on... Read More

Fire Station Frenzy

Take a walk down Key Road and you’ll find the Dead End Fire Station, home to undoubtedly the bravest and hardest working civil servants in the city in what could arguably be described as one of the quieter parts of town. Well, on the night of Sunday 25th January 2015, that all changed. On the cold winter streets just outside the fire station a brawl erupted between members of the Hellcats MC, who are a well known biker gang, and their rivals, the Commedia Dell’Arte.... Read More

Hellcats Declawed By DEPD

Hellcats Radha Grimm, Steph Lowensztark (who took no part in the fight), Tit and Dee Geist, as the fight begins with Lt. Smythe and Officer Jericho If you were out and about late Saturday night, wandering the streets in that time now known as pre-fishnado, you might have stumbled across members of the DEPD squaring off against the dangerous motorcycle ladies of Dead End known as the Hellcats.  Roughly a week prior to this event, a flower delivery driver had been brutally murdered... Read More

New Owner Gets Behind The Roughhouse

Titi tending bar at the Roughhouse With it’s rows of bikes nearly always adorning the exterior of the bar and the wall of liquor on the inside, The Roughhouse has long stood as the safe haven of motorcycle enthusiasts and those who don’t have the smoothest edges around them.  If you’ve visited any time in the past eight months, one of the constant mainstays has been a woman known only as Titi.  While well known for her large derriere and frequent trips to the... Read More

Freedom Tagger Gets Explosive

DEFD works to douse the flames at the Fresh Foods Market Having a loved on go missing is a scary thing.  No one can prepare how they will react.  Some weep. Some curl into a ball.  Some pound their fists into the wall.  Some rip doors off their hinges and flip over couches.  Others, turn over every business they come across in an effort to draw attention to the situation.  Thursday afternoon, 911 dispatch received a call from a woman stating until “one of mine”... Read More

Rough House Owner Roughed Up!

Left drugged in front of the Icky Quickie, Titi was in sad shape after 3 days of torture. It’s no secret that ” Titi”, proud owner of the ” Rough House” as well as the biggest buns in Dead End, is a member of the HellCats motorcycle club.  Perhaps that’s why when the biker babe went missing for 3 days no one thought to put an ad in the Daily. Maybe her friends and family assumed she’d only for got a ride.  Whatever the reason, and wherever... Read More