Police and Fire Departments Hold A Snowman-Building Contest
by K. Villota On December 12, 2015 at 6:00 p.m., the Dead End Police Department and the Dead End Fire Department held a snowman-building contest and a snowball fight at the basketball courts. While no one actually entered the snowman-building contest, a number of snowmen of varying degrees of quality were seen on display. The Red Herring provided hot chocolate and cookies and the Slim Goodies Diner served food to all in attendance, while the Rough House provided alcoholic drinks... Read More
Syndicate Sets Pawn Shop Ablaze
Leuitenent Vie MacClawden and Andi Bayne enjoying a toasted marshmallow and enjoying the fruits of their labor. The pawn shop is usually a place to sell and pawn valuables for profit, or to peruse the shelves for a bargain, however Syndicate Boss Andi Bayne and Fire Department Lieutenant Vie MacClawden had no intentions of doing either. On April 26th in the early evening hours, the two brazen women intentionally set fire to the Pawn Shop owned by Xelan Yheng. While enjoying a... Read More
Local Menace Tortured and Murdered by Local Vigilantes
What is wrong with this city? After having seen one crucifixion, yet another? We’re falling from one excruciating scene into the next. When will this end? Can anyone tell us what the hell is going on? The turmoil began some weeks ago with the announcement of the prohibition. That was also when the kidnappings started. One after another, Vie MacClawden, Nick Kytori, Rhoslyn Ritter and Titi were abducted, disappeared for a few days and came back a changed person. The kidnappings... Read More
Crucifixion: Not Just for Jesus Anymore
Jones and “Vinny” with their victims. Two men, calling themselves “Reverend Jones” and “Brother Vinnie,” publicly crucified a man and a woman: Sergei Stankic, head of the Flame of Truth Homeless Shelter, and former Dead End Fire Department Chief, Melangell Reed-Bellic, resulting in the death of Stankic and the near-certain embarrassment of Reed-Belic. Calling them the “true faces of sin,” Reverend Jones proceeded to strip them both, while they were lashed... Read More
Pharaoh’s Grand Reopening! Don’t Be Late!
DON’T BE LATE! DON’T BE LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE! Make sure to follow the White Rabbit on down to the roof of the Daily office for Grand Reopening for a Mad Hatter! Pharaoh’s will be hosting an Alice in Wonderland Themed Grand Reopening on April 21, 2015 from 6-8 pm SLT! So ladies and gentleman, dust off your muchiness and head on down and join the fun… otherwise OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!! Catered by the 8’s and Andis Candies Read More
Cult Priest Dead After Kidnapping and Torturing Local Business Owner
On March 13th, Mrs. Vie MacClawden was abducted by then persons unknown and held against her will. On March 17th she was rescued after four days of torture, rape, and being drugged against her will. According to her statement, her abduction had a purpose. In addition to the physical abuse the woman endured during those days, mind altering substances were administered in an attempt to brainwash her and accept the ways of the new church, which relies heavily on a belief in abstinence... Read More
Prohibition Leads to Troubles for the Local Police
Shade Manx after Cleaning House at Easy Eights On Saturday the 7th, the Dead End Police Department began their enforcement of the alcohol prohibition of our fair city. While the the enforcement officers encountered little resistance as they went from business to business confiscating bottles of booze and demolishing barrels, one small privately owned business fought back in a big way. Despite the conversion of the Rough House to a smoothie bar, the owner not only... Read More
Get Paid to Play Video Games?
Pharaoh’s Second Hand Books is looking for a few good clerks. We offer flexible hours, good pay and endless coffee. An infinite love of video games, and PBS required. Working knowledge of the alphabet a plus. Please contact Keiran or Vie MacClawden, or Jennie Irelund for an interview. Read More
Dead Drop Arson Causes Calamity
Dead End citizens experienced a major fire on Friday in Dead Drop that included the injuries of several residents and public officials that included also a sexual assault. On February 14th, at approximately midnight, DEFD was called to an incident outside of the abandoned gas station located in Dead Drop. Upon arrival, fire department officials discovered victim Lily William (NPC), 26, tied to a cross. DEPD reports that the victim suffered from numerous severe injuries,... Read More
Luna and Partner Suspects in Murder, Arsons, Rapes, Torture, Poisoning and Attacks! – Retraction
On February 3rd, one of The Daily’s staff writers wrote an article regarding an incident they were involved in regarding a woman left beaten and bloody on the doorstep of the Dead End Fire Department. This article quickly changed from a factual narrative of events to an opinion piece, citing several names and various nefarious groups within our fair city being involved in a number of incidents, including a fire at the apartment buildings on Key Road, across from Slim Goodie’s... Read More
